Lyrics of Song The Do Wop

and as you all know, i am hard as hell...

Woke up at 9:30 on a saturday morn,
Hit my remote control, turn my stereo on,
Then i reached for a brush since i don´t use a pick,
And the floor was kinda cold so i put on my kix...
Went to the kitchen and ate some corn flakes
As i bopped to a tape a kut kreator´s breaks
Wit hardcore, heavyweight b-boy blast,
Not soft, hardcore, kut kreator´s fast...
Jumped in the shower it was boiling hot,
So i stayed there a hour cuz i like it a lot
Jumped out, dried off, put on the devon cologne,
Then i called up earl on the telephone...
He said there was a jam that we could do later on
Ten g´s plus a limo for one short song
So i said yeah i was wit it, hung up and got geared,
Got a magnifyin´ glass then i brushed my beard,
Rewound some tapes of some def jam tunes
As i waited for the skeez to ring the bell at noon....

12 o´clock came, left the door cracked,
The freak walked in, a mink on her back,
Put her coat on the rack, threw my sessmo(?) on
Then i threw in a tape of the quiet storm, we drank
Round hill cabernet sauvignon, she said l.l.
When you gonna let me taste your tongue...
Her skin got pale, i wham-bammed the tail,
Did it so hard i shoulda went ta jail...
She left, earl came over and we went outside,
Jumped in the b.m. ta bust a joyride..
Went up to aj´s in my fresh black wheels
I´m not a sucka on a corner tryin´ ta scrape up a meal...
The girlies want sex, da fellas try ta flex,
But those who flex end up wit broke necks...
Signed some autographs for a posse a freaks -
Said "it´s l baby, i ain´t down wit sheik"
Conversated wit da skeezers for ten minutes more
Then i jumped in my ride and the freak slammed the door...

?????? people think i do crimes
But they don´t know i´m just a conniseur of hip hop rhymes -
Stop smilin, you think ?????? all of the time
But he don´t know ?? my name´s on his wife´s behind
Ll has iced all the washed up slobs
Vigilante of rap, so the hell wit the mob
Don´t run from the cops, makin´ suckas chop
And i´m only eighteen makin´ mo than yo pops
Tormentor of toys and boy scout boys
And i dare any critic to call it noize...

Peeked at the clock it said 6:03,
Said later to kreator and broke out wit e..
Went up ta white castle for a chocolate shake
Thinkin´ bout a hundred thousand that i´d soon make
Finished up the snack, jumped up out my seat,
Then e-love hit the table and he made up a beat...
Kicked a few rhymes, stepped out the door
Said "tonight is a bore, i´m in the mood for more!"
Jumped in my ride, i took a peek at the time
It was almost 7:30 and the show was at 9
Ll cool j would soon stand at a jam
With thousands of people screamin´ "touch my hand!"

But since i had a hour plus a half attached
I was searchin´ for the cutie who´s my perfect match...
Her name was renee, her face was ok
But she had the kind a body that made j wanna play
I said no need to rehearse, then i made my approach,
Said you got a good team, girl but ya need a new coach,
Said my name´s ll cool if i may introduce
But i´m not here for conversation, i´m here ta seduce
Wanna mix it up baby, wanna feel ya grind
Cause it ain´t fifth grade, and these ain´t nursery rhymes
Now i know you heard ????? hardcore
Check out the real ll behind closed doors
Tell your buddies you´re busy, tell your boyfriend beat it
Put up the silk dress cuz ya ain´t gonna need it
Unplug the clock, do away with the light,
After five minutes or more ya here me say "that´s right!"
Your body is bad, i heard you got a caddy,
When we make love you can call me daddy
I´m ll cool j, say hey renee,
I´m not a toy boy, but i still wanna play
Promise you i´m not wack when i´m in the sack,
After that i´ll leave ya starvin for me to come back
But in the meantime, what ya did just now,
The next time i see ya, i´m goin´ ta town

Stepped away from da freak, it was a quarter to 9
When i rode to the jam i saw the crew on line
Took a trip around the side so i could get backstage
If they call me a tiger then the stage is my cage
I rip, stomp and crush, heavy metal bands rust,
Those flaky knuckleheads i crumble up like crust
Walked in the dressin´ room and then i heard four knocks
They said ll your runnin´ late, and it´s time ta rock!
Told kut kreator what the order would be
Then i said "lord have mercy" an slapped hands wit e,
Went on stage, i heard the girlies scream,
And at that very moment i woke up from the dream rrraaah!