Lyrics of Song 1-900-ll Cool J

{*phone rings twice*}
Yo.. "hello 1-900-ll cool j?"
Yeah whassup? "can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?"
Yeah i can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I don´t smoke crack so i won´t lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and i´m straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with shake´n´bake
I leave all the preachin to reverand flake
How much money can one black man make? huh
I´m what´s known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, i´m not a biter
Can´t compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
Cause you´re bitin my lyrics like a nestle crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes ain´t slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I´m like sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
Cause i´ma start dismissin
Sucker mc´s who´s out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn´t loyal
Now it´s all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
I´ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

{*phone rings*}
Yo.. "hello is this 1-900-ll cool j?"
Yeah whassup? "can you tell me what you do when you´re coolin out?"
Yo check this out

Now when i´m coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
"can ll {*censored*}?" man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, j swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You´re full of preservatives -- plus,
You´re too conservative
I´m full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
There´s no competition, for this here
So don´t waste your time and breath
I´m givin you all a big f
Mc´s i envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I´m asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don´t want no static
Anyway, i ain´t havin it!
When i see the microphone -- i´m grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
Ll xl, xtra-large
Knowhati´msayin? peace

{*phone rings three times*}
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? i been tryin to call you all day
Word up i was talkin to ll he was kickin some mo´ hyped up rhymes to me
Word, i spoke to him today too - them rhymes was pumpin
Well not to cut you short but i gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya